Attack Of The Killer Fangirls
by 0Alykinze0
Summary: Crackfic. Vegeta, our favorite conceited villain, gets savagely attacked by a hoard of drooling girls on the beach. How will he react? Rated T to be safe, slight coarse language, first story I've written :D


**AN: First story I've ever written for FF! I just got into DBZ, so please excuse all canon-ologically incorrect instances. This was really fun to write...total crackfic :) Enjoy! ~Aly**

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><p>It was a normal day on Earth as Vegeta lounged comfortably on the plastic lawn chair on the beach. Being midsummer, the sun shown its rays onto the planet warmly, but satisfyingly so, since it wasn't blistering hot. After the whole morning of intense "training" - he snickered to himself softly - he thought he deserved to rest for awhile, so after lunch, he bid his farewells to the training camp and retired to the sandy ocean. Life was good for Vegeta - at the moment.<p>

You see, the cunning sadist was fooling everybody - that long three years in the wait for the Androids was not filled with hard work at all - in fact, Vegeta had already surpassed Kakarot's power level, and became a super saiyan months prior. He was perfect; it was pointless to keep training, since he so obviously the best warrior (conceited, much?) in the world. Naturally, the real Vegeta strove for more, to even surpass that title - to keep on going, to become greatest, strongest, and sexiest, obviously. He knows it, I know it, you know it, he's a freaking god. At the moment, though, his mind only focused on going further than Kakarot, and thus he decided he'd halt his training for then (which is something he'd rarely do, but this isn't reality, so shut up). So naturally he decided he needed some time to his amazing self, and concluded he had to trick everyone to think he was still training manically, so they wouldn't bug him. After all, they knew from experience that upsetting Vegeta in the midst of hard work gave unsettling results.

So now, lying almost subconsciously as the warmth of the sun melted through his (mostly exposed, except for his swimming trunks) amazing skin, he almost started to doze off when he heard a scream of, "Oh my freaking god, it's him!" The voice was a shrill teenager, and it was frantic with excitement. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and the voice sounded blissfully surprised. He later guessed they were in a group, purposefully looking for him, like cannibals, because following that immediately was high-pitched screams of delight and sounds of people possibly fainting from disbelief.

Vegeta decided it was worth observing - obviously, he had to tell off these obnoxious girls for interrupting his coveted beauty sleep. After all, the guy - or girl, supposedly - who interrupted Vegeta in anything was as good as gone. Opening one eye slightly, he saw (to his horror) a few dozen young girls gathered a little ways down the beach, all in swimming suits, and all staring at him. What about him was so intriguing, he wondered. And what right did they have to stare at him like that? Like they were obsessed with him or something. Or that they were seriously hunger deprived.

He sat up, an extremely disturbing frown on his serious face. He was about to call out something along the lines of 'You imbeciles, get away from here or else I'll make you wish you've never been born into your miserable lives,' but instead was interrupted with a high, "He sat up!"

The girls interrupted into hysterical screaming, crying, and sometimes fainting. Vegeta scowled deeper, thinking, this situation is getting out of control. Why couldn't he enjoy a simple nap without one interruption? was that too much to ask for in his oh-so-perfect life?

He stood up fully, to which the teenagers commented with shouts of "Damn, his muscles..." and "Jesus Christ, he is so hot..." Vegeta was now thoroughly freaked out, which was unusual. He didn't even know these girls, and they were going on about how apparently "sexy" he was. He yelled, "Who are you and what-"

"HE SPOKE!"

The female monsters were behaving out of control - some fell into heaping piles of sobs and cooties. A strange feeling tinged into Vegeta's limited emotional supply - was that...fear? What the hell? Was he internally malfunctioning? He roared, "You-"

Cutting him off once more, one girl squeaked, "Get him!" The girls seemed to have lost total control and broke into a running stampede toward him, like they were wild animals. Their need for him was too much, apparently.

Vegeta didn't know what to do. It wasn't everyday that a hoard of absolute strangers interrupted your nap with coos of affection being screamed at you. The girls continued at a blinding speed toward him, their eyes sparkling with starvation.

When facing the unknown, he always put up a mask of absolute confidence, for the oh-so-flawless warrior was always in control. But this situation was as unknown as they get. So in a state of totally un-Vegeta like panic, he took off running in the opposite direction, his aggravation morphing into plain horror. He threw in a dramatic scream as he was fleeing, just for show.

To his immense fright, the girls were somehow able to keep up with his blindingly fast pace down the beach, and were gaining on him. Beads of perspiration poured down Vegeta's face, and he started to really hyperventalate - he was trapped. "YOU PSYCHOPATHS!" He struggled the huffed race on the sand, desperately wanting to get away from the foreign danger, the fan girlish threat. Alas, he knew it was then end, and he lost his footing and started to stumble. Everything began to happen in slow motion, obviously, and he released a cleshe yell of desperation and he stumbled through the sand. Just as it occurred to him he could actually just fly away, turn into a Super Saiyan, or just kill them all, instead of stumbling like an idiot being chased by insane teenagers, all of the them dog piled onto him, knocking him to the ground.

Blankness and horror once again flooded his mind - his usual quick wits were lost as croons of "I love you..." and "Hottest man alive..." floated to his ears. He felt like screaming bloody murder, or something. His dignity reminded him he already had. He was clearly not comfortable. Suddenly, the affectionate fan girls turned rabid, and the dog pile became a confusing huff of fighting over him - "He's mine..." and "I saw him first..."

A slightly insane part of Vegeta thought, Don't I have a say in who can "have" me?

It got worse. The girls continued their pointless fight over him in a matted ball of limbs - he was literally crushed under bodies of desperate teens. Insults were being slashed in all directions - "You tramp!" "You slut!" "You transvestite!" The fight became me intense, and some girls passed out. The panic finally bubbled to the surface, and he screamed in the steadiest voice he could manage, "Get the hell off me!" His angry plea was drowned out by shrieks of the girls battling around him.

Finally deciding to officially conquer the situation, Vegeta looked within himself, and something far away on some planet exploded. With a dramatic flash of light he turned into a Super Saiyan. He felt his physical features change into a more threatening, and as he later came to observe, amazingly "gorgeous" form. His transformation effectively ended the girls' squabble - they all stared at him in awe. To his extreme displeasure, the seemed to turn into an even greater frenzy, screaming how hot of a blond he was. A million hands reached to touch him, and a million mouths tried to kiss him. It was then that Vegeta completely lost it, shouting, "That's it!"

He blasted a wave of power away from his body and stood up in one fluid motion. His blast sent girls giggilingly flying in several directions, at least 20 yards from where he now stood. Heat radiated throughout his body, and his veins coursed on adrenaline and fear. He saw only red anger, and horror. Bodies, some conscious and some not, littered the sand and the ocean, all of them sort of flopping uselessly. The girls that weren't in so much pain that they couldn't move started to rustle out of their blown away state. They would not give up, apparently. Scared out of his mind, Vegeta cowardly departed as fast as a lightning bolt into the sky.

As he soared away, he heard yells of "I love you..." float up to him, but he never looked back, just kept on flying. Vegeta shakenly flew from the absolutely terrifying experience, doubting his abilities - how could a batch of mere weak fan girls actually overpower him like that? What sort of hidden power did they possess that could defeat him? His honor, and dignity, and pride, and all that crap was demolished.

One thing was for certain - he needed to keep training...

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><p><strong>Yay! Hoped it wasn't too bad...R&amp;R please? Thx! ~Aly<strong>


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